The Cost of Road Rage and Aggressive Driving
I missed work yesterday because I was a victim of road rage (ironically, after I wrote about safe driving last week). Someone felt it was acceptable to block two lanes of a three lanes highway, get out of his car, open my door and start beating me. As the closing blow he slammed the door in my face and left a huge dent on my door with a swift kick. The reason? I didn’t let him merge back onto the highway after he sneaked onto the entrance ramp to selfishly pass about a dozen cars in front of him.
Photo by sheriffmitchell via Flickr
It could have been a lot worse…
I am very thankful that it wasn’t more than a few bruises and the dented door. I ran the event through my head a few times and things could have been a lot worse.
It’s amazing how things have changed over the years. In New York City, there isn’t much give and take on the road anymore. There are a lot of selfish and “above the law” drivers. And road rage is a major epidemic here. This is one of many factors that make me want to leave New York City for a nicer, more peaceful, and less crowded “home.”
The cost of today’s incident…
So far, I have to say that I am very lucky. And I’ll explain why.
- Missed work – I missed work for the day, but because I am a salaried employee, I didn’t lose any money. I just asked for a personal day off to clean up the mess.
- Car repair — I visited a couple of body shops and was quoted anywhere from $500 to $1,200 for the repair. Fortunately, I ran into Gar of Castle Collision. He offered to pop the dent just to see how it would look. I was pleasantly surprised by the result. The damage is now nothing more than a tiny dimple.
- Medical expenses – Good thing my assailant wasn’t a skillful attacker, so I only ended up with a sore and slightly bruised left arm and side. I also turned down the 911 operator’s offer to send an ambulance, since I didn’t need it and it would cost a few hundred dollars.
The mental consequences…
The worst things out of all this are the mental consequences. I am concerned about what will happen over the next few days, weeks, or even years. I had a bad experience with car and lawsuit before. A couple years ago, my dad was driving my car to the pool and was struck by a car that ran a red light. Incredibly, we received a lawsuit letter from the other driver almost three years later. Luckily, AllState did a great job of protecting my interest.
In closing…
I’d like to remind my readers to drive carefully, take it easy, be safe, and always lock your doors. There are a lot of crazy people out there and it’s better to be the “giver” and avoid this type of situations.
This post was featured in the Carnival of Observations on Life June 8, 2008 hosted by Anja Merret.
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Pinyo, I am glad you weren’t seriously injured or the car was not significantly damaged! I’m also glad you didn’t have your family in the car with you when the idiot attacked. Really, I don’t understand these things and know this kind of (edit) is not worth it. Keep us updated on the legal side of this (like, if the police can catch and prosecute this ***hole).
I’m so sorry you had to experience this, but am glad to learn you were not seriously injured. You are correct that this could have gone any number of ways. Good luck dealing with the repercussions of this angry persons actions. I read your blog often and appreciate your perspective.
I am really sorry to hear this. In Malaysia, too, we have gangs usually on motor bikes roaming the streets at night speeding against one another and generally making a mess.
They have also attacked other motorists who get in their way etc.
We also have the above described kind of road rager. There was a recent case where one road rager actually killed another motorist.
I have no idea what makes these guys behave this way. A spark seems to set off an uncontrollable streak and they just go bonkers.
Thank God you are all right.
It’s unbelievable that people act in such a manner, and like Ana I’m glad your family wasn’t with you. Not only was his driving selfish, his attack on you was uncivilized. I’m just glad he didn’t pull a gun on you. A bruise hurts, but a bullet can be final!
While you are right about his “unskilful” attack, most people that are skilled learn control. I know because I spent years becoming skilled due to a similar incident. I’ve been around a lot of people who are beyond skilled, and none would act in such a manner.
And he was not attacking you personally. Someone with such rage issues is driven by other problems. You just unfortunately were in his way. As crazy as it sounds you will probably do more good by forgiving him. It isn’t for his sake but for your own so the negative emotions don’t eat away at you and your life.
I was going to suggest carrying a gun, but then I saw you live in NYC. Bummer. A can of pepper spray, maybe? My sister has a little one that hangs on her keychain.
Wow – that’s CRAZY! I’m glad you are okay!
I hate people who think that they can just zoom down a lane that ends or on the shoulder just to cut in front of a handful of cars, and as soon as someone doesn’t let them in, they act like it isn’t their fault and become the aggressor.
I’ve had similar situations, and actually had a guy hit my car when trying a stunt like that. Everyone was in the proper lane, but some idiot thought he would just fly down the ending lane and zip in front of someone. Well, he misjudged and clipped the front of my car while trying to squeeze in. No real damage done other than some paint off the bumper, and I didn’t feel like reporting it or confronting him, so just let it go. Either way, it made me furious that asshats like that can get away with that kind of stuff because of what crazy things they can do, as illustrated with your situation.
Glad you’re alright, and this just reinforces my thoughts for going to get my CCW permit later this summer.
I live on LI and take the LIE, and/or Southern & Northern State Parkways every day. People on our roads are completely out of control. It’s the wild west out there. The one habit I have started is that I always keep my doors locked when I’m in the car – you never know who is going to yank the door open and start clobbering you for no reason. Better to be safe than sorry.
It just sucks that in addition to the stress of working and trying to manage life in these tough times, we need to worry about our miserable commute going safely too.
Glad that you are okay and so sorry this happened to you.
Pinyo, Glad to hear you are OK physically. Since you called 911, did you also file a police report for assault? I hope you did, but I wouldn’t blame you if you did not. Getting assaulted like that can be very scary.
I’m also glad to hear that you found someone willing to pop the dent for you. The others would have made your door “like new” for lots of money, but they did not consider how to really satisfy you. Hooray for Gar of Castle Collision!
Pinyo – I was really hoping this was a bad joke but as I read on, I realized it wasn’t. I’m really sorry to hear that happened to you. There are some CRAZY people in this world. I cannot believe some jerk had the nerve to put his hands on you because you wouldn’t let him merge after he broke the law.
I hope you were able to get a tag number or something so they can catch the a**hole.
I certainly hope you filed a police report. That guy DID assault you. I’d press charges and not look back. At the very, very least, you’ll get your expenses covered… after all it’s not like he has a legal leg to stand on. As an added bonus, he’ll have to miss time from work to go to court for the ordeal. Since he’s obviously a “very busy man” and in such a huge rush everywhere, that should really piss him off.
I would definately go the “pain and suffering” route with this one. Make that clown pay. This is one of the times when it’s really, really ok to sue someone.
I agree with Llama Money on this one. It is not ok to do what he did. (duh) If you know who it was I think it would be well worth your time to “slow him down” a few days in court would maybe teach him a lesson.
Another option would have been a can of pepper spray in the face. I agree on this one. You have a right to protect your self. That would be the most non violent, violent response.
I’m glad your ok. It must have really been traumatic.
That’s awful! I really wish you the best and a speedy recovery.
Were the police able to catch the guy or what?
Wow- glad you’re alive to write about it. The power of anger-turned-rage taps into years of “anger history”.
I have done what you describe on the Leverett Circle here in Boston countless times. From now on, I think I’ll just let those rude drivers be rude.
Best, Lisa
I can’t believe it, so sorry to hear of your incident it must have been quite distressing at the time!
Thank you everyone for your well wishes and support.
@Ana – Yes, I am very thankful that my wife and baby wasn’t in the car at that time. It would have been traumatic for them, and my fatherly instinct would probably caused me to jump out of the car and retaliate.
@Fathersez – I am glad this happened in the U.S. also. Things could have been a lot worse if this was in Thailand (your neighboring country).
@B Smith – I think you’re right about self-control. I almost earned my black belt in college and through the whole incident, I didn’t feel anger or fear. I was just trying to react the best I could within the bound of the law. I was shaken up afterward though.
@Jake – I don’t think gun is a good idea. Even if I am right, I would regret using it. A pepper spray would have been useful.
@Jeremy – I hate it too, that’s why I didn’t let him merge back in.
@Susan – I hear you. I am living through the same thing.
@Bryce – Yes, I did file a police report and I am collaborating with the police. And Gar rocks.
@SGM – I did get his license number, plus the year, make, model, and color of his car. So I am hopeful.
Again, thank you everyone for our encouragement and support.
Very glad that the baby wasn’t with you. I’ve heard of this sort of thing happening, but I never quite believed it…it doesn’t make any sense. Flipping off, honking, yelling all make sense, but this is beyond ridiculous. Glad you got the number and filed the police report.
OMG, I am so glad you are okay. This is so unsettling.
I don’t know what else to say. Just really glad, for you and for your family, that you are OK.
Wow, that sounds frightening. I am so glad you are all right!
That’s awful! Glad you’re okay. Like you said, it could have been much worse.
BTW: For whatever reason, Moolanomy is blocked by my site’s Internet filter. It’s the strangest thing — yours is one of approximately ten sites I bookmarked at work, but it’s the only one I can’t access. And since I rarely have time for the Internet at home, this means I haven’t been able to keep up with your site lately.
Maybe I can bribe my work’s IT guy to let Moolanomy get through the filter…
Oh my GOD. I am so glad that you’re ok! I always lock my doors because I heard a story about doors opening unexpectedly when I was a kid (hogwash, but the habit stuck). I’ve vaguely heard of this stuff happening before, but didn’t believe that it actually WOULD. Normally I am on the road with Sean and his friends, all of whom carry guns, so I’m less afraid than when I’m alone.
I’m just glad you’re ok! I hope your arm gets better, and your face. You’re in my thoughts tonight
Pinyo – glad to hear that you’re doing alright. I almost had the same thing happen to me about a month ago in a slightly different scenario. I was merging onto the freeway on my way to work and unfortunately ended up in front of an aggressive driver when it was my turn to merge. He didn’t appreciate that I got in front of him and proceeded to pull into the next lane and swerved at my car like he was going to hit it. Then he pulled in front of my car and started slowing down on the freeway. I’m guessing he was trying to get me to stop, but the freeway was empty enough for me to change lanes to avoid him. The whole time there was someone else in the car with him. I ended up taking the long way to work, because for a while I thought he might be crazy enough to follow me. I’m not sure what happened, maybe the other person talked some sense into him, but he eventually exited the freeway, and I had a crazy story to tell when I got to work. Moral of the story – angry people suck. Glad you’re doing ok now.
Holy crap…can you track this individual’s identity down? If so, I would fully file a complaint to recover damages for personal injuries sustained. If I were you I would also go for punitive damages… if he’s got deep pockets you may be able to recover a substantial amount. Don’t let this go. Don’t get mad, get even. Sorry…it’s the legal part of me talking…
I’m so glad you are ok Pinyo. Some people these days are unreal! I wouldn’t let this go either, everyone should have the right to go about their normal daily business without violence.
I had a friend about 7 years ago who had a similar thing happen in Orlando. He was in front of a semi-truck on a pretty traffic heavy road. He had his blinker on and the trucker let him get in front of him, so he waved thanks in the mirror. Well, apparently the trucker thought he flipped him off. They were at a red light and the trucker got out and beat the crap out of my friend. He had to go to the hospital and he sued the trucking company (and won) and such. So, that taught me long ago to always make sure my doors are locked!
@Shanti — “Sean and his friends, all of whom carry guns”
I think that in itself is scary. I am not judging Sean and his friends, but I personally would not carry a gun.
Thank you for thought
@Broke Grad Student — I ran into that situation once or twice myself. A suburban was trying to overrun my car when I pulled out behind a double parked car into his lane. He was angry that he didn’t speed up fast enough to block me in.
@Shawna — Wow, I’ll remember to make sure my thank you waves look clean in the future. That’s scary.
Pinyo- Glad to hear you are doing OK, it could have been much worse.
It truly is a crazy world we live in.
Take care
-RC
Pinyo, that’s nuts. I’m happy you’re all right. Please keep us updated on what comes out of the situation.
My dear online friend, I am very sorry this happened to you!!! (((( )))
Several years ago now, I needed a caretaking break, and I went for several days to a peaceful Jersey Shore town. Ocean Grove is often called, tongue in cheek, “Ocean Grave”, for many senior citizens live there … As I went to drive out the main road to return to my chaotic life, there was such a senior driver ahead of me. Would you believe – the woman directly behind him jumped out of her car – yes it was a woman! – and started beating him and trying to drag him through the open window! I was so astonished I couldn’t even remember I had a cell phone, but what I did do was lean on my car horn until the firefighters sitting outside looked over and went – “what the hell?!” – and ran over there …
Life is more often a Sopranos episode, than an I love lucy!
Wow!
Good for you for getting the SH’s license number. I hope you will press charges and the SOB will end up where he belongs, in jail.
You were lucky nothing worse happened. Here in the Wild West, people are shot with some regularity. I don’t carry a gun in my car because of the volatility of the whole driving situation–people are so aggressive I might shoot someone myself. A year or two back, some guy forced a woman off an freeway ramp, reached into her car, grabbed her little dog, and threw it into the oncoming freeway traffic. This is the kind of people you’re dealing with.
Rather than take up space here, I’m linking to this article in a post with seven strategies to help keep yourself safe on the road.
Meanwhile, glad you’re OK. Keep your doors locked out there!
Driving in New York can indeed be crazy at times. Fortunately for you there was little damage. Like you said it easily could have been worse. Hopefully with the info you gave the police they can find the person. He deserves to be arrested for assault! Things like this make me also think about leaving NYC. It’s such a surprise in other locales to see drivers giving other drivers and pedestrians the right of way almost all of the time. In NYC there are plenty out there who drive with blinders on and only see where they need to go; anything else is an affront on them. Sounds like you did the right thing. I’ve been in similar situations and I always think I should have done more but then I realize I would have only made the situation worse.
Where is a cop when you need one, right? (Not to knock NYC police but it’s Murphy’s Law for me that there’s never one around when you need one).
@FFB – “Where is a cop when you need one, right?” Yeah, that’s usually the case for me too, but this time, I was very impressed with the response time. Two police cruisers were there within a few minutes of calling 911.
Wow… did no one get the plate number? No one stopped to help?
@Kevin – Yep, I got his plate, year, make, model, color…