Life has a way of changing long-held opinions. I used to vehemently state that I would not want to stay home with my children (who did not exist at the time) because I needed adult interaction and the feeling of financial independence. Years later, after the birth of my son, I found myself feeling just as vehement about my need to stay at home with him.
Unfortunately, life doesn’t let you know how you will make these things work after you have your epiphany. It’s up to you to figure out the logistics. Going from a two-income to a one-income family in this economy can be frightening, especially with the family growing at the same time. However, it is possible for almost any family to find a way for one parent to spend more time at home.
Here are three tips to help you make the transition to one-income living:
It’s important to start with a clear-eyed look at your finances before making the jump to one-income living. You can find several stay-at-home specific calculators (Parents.com has one), but it’s not necessary to use one of these to get an idea of your income and spending. Grab a pen and paper to put together a budget if you don’t have one. (Here’s a step by step guide to your first budget.)
Once you know how much income you need per month you’ll need to figure out how much it costs for one spouse to work. When couples decide that they cannot afford for Mom to stay home they often forget how much of her income is eaten up by childcare and work-related costs (the cost of lunches out, a work wardrobe, etc.). Knowing exactly how much money you’ll be giving up (and saving!) by staying home will put you in a much better position to make your decision.
From there look to see if there is any fat you can trim from your monthly budget.
Food is an obvious place to start as having one parent home will make it that much easier to cook from scratch. Cooking more meals at home rather than eating out should save most families money.
Cooking from scratch doesn’t just include meals but all kinds of foods you are used to buying from a store. For example, homemade bread and jam are both much tastier than their store-bought counterparts, are relatively easy to make, and cost just pennies. Become a do-it-yourselfer (in the kitchen and beyond) and save.
If you decide to become a one-income family, can you also become a one-car family or a one-cell phone family? Many of the things that society tells us we must have are not actually essential. Decide what you can live without in the name of staying home with the kids.
Do you really need to be able to watch the latest episode of your favorite show as soon as it comes out? Do you need to get a haircut and manicure once a month? Do you need to drink the specialty coffee you love? These will certainly be painful cuts to make, but realizing why you are making them should help soften the blow.
The most important aspect of making the changes necessary to stay at home is for both parents to be on board. Deciding what is best for the family as a team will lead to happier parents both in and out of the office. And of course, happy parents = happy kids.
We are a one income household. One thing that worked for us were that we discussed this before we got married, so that there were no surprises. Another thing that helped us is that we adjusted our budget as soon as we found out we were pregnant to remove my wife’s income (we used it primarily as extra debt payments). That way, when she left her job before having the baby, the transition was seamless and it was one less thing to worry about.
We are a two income household but that is not because we have to be. We don’t have kids yet but even then we could raise them on one income. We both work because we like to. We both find personal feedback and satisfaction from our jobs and we both want to work. We may downsize to part time later on but right now we are dual income. Despite this, we do save on what we can; I walk to and from work, we cook at home, we work out at home, and we make our own cleaning and personal care products. The money we save goes into savings for house renos and trips. It also goes for retirement.
I like your practical approach to this subject and the step by step guide. We live in a world where people feel that downsizing is a crime. You have made this subject convincing and given the options to follow too. Thanks!
becoming a one income family was one of the most rewarding decisions our family made after we ha our second child. The formative years of one’ children come and gk o extremely . Adjusting to titghter budget is definitively a challenge, but the rewards are so much greater: seeing your kids grow in a safe environment with a family always close by is truly priceless. In our society we tend to forget that family values and raising children to be self sufficient is less of a priority than making more money z and buying the latest gadgets.
I would love to stay home and have voiced this to my husband. We could totally pull it off, too. No more child care payment, the car has been payed off… Unfortunately, we need to wait to see if my husband’s place of biz is going to shut down this year. Its in the talks. Plus, he is trying to retire. Battle of who gets to stay home! LOL.
Its definitely more challenging in today’s times, but it is possible. And I think worthwhile. Unless you can work part-time. Because it really is bad that kids are being raised by child care and school. Mine included.
We will consider out options when we have our first. A lot of this depends on whether Mrs. SPF is working contracts still or has a “permanent” job.
I can afford to stay home because that is the nature of my work
I stayed home with our two until the youngest was in first grade. This was in the 1980′s.
We did without a lot. I cooked from scratch, we did our own car maintenance, home repair, yard work, landscaping, had only one TV, no central air conditioning and very little money was spent on entertainment.
I took the kids to any kid friendly free (or practically free) educational or entertainment events I could find. I made their clothes or bought them at garage sales.
We did have two cars as we thought it important for the parent at home to be mobile – in case of emergency and also for sanity sake. I worked on the weekends when hubby was home to watch the kids.
I was glad to be able to have that time with the kids and wished I could have stayed home longer – in spite of the isolation and loss of adult contact.